Student+Athlete Highlight: Caroline Beard

Like a dash, The Plus has a horizontal bar that represents the school-sport balance, but there is also a vertical line that represents the relationship between the athlete and God. Because Christ laid down his life for them, the athlete lives their life for Him. In this blog series, I feature student+athletes who thrive in school and sport while pursuing the true prize.

Happy Sunday, everyone! Today's blog is a beautiful piece of honesty and recovery by Caroline Beard, a college distance runner known for her delicious and nutritious recipes. Her Instagram, carolinesfitlife, has almost 13,000 followers, and she's also on TikTok & Youtube. I met Caroline over Instagram, and I didn't know anything about her story. Reading her testimony with an outsider's perspective gave me the chance to step into my subscribers' shoes, and I was deeply moved by not only what Caroline had to say, but by the chance to learn so much about a life happening across the country that I would have never come in contact with if it weren't for this blog.

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Hi there readers! My name is Caroline Beard, and I am a junior at the University of Pittsburgh. I am majoring in nursing and run cross country and track. I also have a food/lifestyle Instagram and Tiktok @carolinesfitlife. My journey in running has been filled with ups and downs, but I can confidently say that God has been working through it all and I am grateful for the opportunity to share my story with you!

I started out playing soccer competitively for 14 years, even winning a national championship my freshman year of high school. I thought soccer was going to be my future in college, so I decided to run cross country my sophomore year of high school to “get in better shape” for the soccer field. I ended up falling in love with the infamous “runner’s high”, the daily grind of the sport, and the feeling of accomplishment when you cross the finish line knowing you’ve pushed your limits farther than you could’ve ever imagined. My junior year of high school, I eventually quit soccer to pursue track and cross country year round.

When I switched sports, however, I instantly began to compare my muscular “soccer player body type” to the thinner girls that I toed the line with. What I didn’t realize at the time was there was absolutely nothing wrong with my body, and the muscular legs I had from soccer gave me the strength and speed to excel in distance running. Your body is supposed to change as you age, and everyone has a unique, beautiful body! Nevertheless, I became convinced I had to lose weight in order to continue improving, which developed into a full blown eating disorder. I continued to grow weaker and more malnourished with each day, my performances plateaued, and my mental and physical health deteriorated. I had been a Christian my whole life, was reading the Bible and praying daily, but I wasn’t putting God’s teachings into my life. Forget about being fearfully and wonderfully made, instead I was wasting my life and my potential solely focusing on myself and worrying about how many calories I was going to eat. Without knowing it, my body and my sport had become an idol.

Despite my struggles behind the scenes, I was blessed with the opportunity to run DI at Pitt. I couldn’t wait to spend the next 4 years running at the highest level…or so I thought. My life looked picture perfect on the outside, but on the inside was falling apart. During my freshman year, I got a severe stress fracture in my sacrum from the years of underfueling and was out of running for 10 months. I was still in denial and resisted my coach and doctor’s repeated efforts to help me change. By the end of my freshman year, the coach at Pitt informed me that I was not healthy enough to return to the team the next year. (I am incredibly grateful that the staff at Pitt put my health first before athletics) . At the time, this was the worst day of my life. But looking back it was the moment that changed everything.

I vividly remember waking up the next morning, knowing my college running career was over, and having a lightbulb moment that can only be explained by God intervening. I remember thinking “I can’t believe I did this to myself. I’ve been wasting my life away, and this is not the way God has intended me to live! I was made for more than an eating disorder!” I vowed that day to recover once and for all from the eating disorder that had taken so much from me. God worked a miracle and flipped a switch in me that day. I vowed to start believing the truths of Jesus again instead of the lies of the devil that told me I wasn’t enough. Recovery from an eating disorder wasn’t easy, but it was 100% worth it and the best decision I’ve ever made. Throughout my recovery, I clung to the Bible verse Jeremiah 29:11, “For I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” I was deep in a valley, but I knew that God had a higher purpose for this season and that He would bring me through it. Other encouraging verses that helped me through the dark valley were John 13:7, Proverbs 3:5, Matthew 6:25, Romans 8:28, Mark 5:36, Isaiah 41:10, and Psalm 23:4. God’s word never fails, and I knew He was working everything out for my good. I documented my entire journey in coming back from my injury and recovering from an eating disorder on social media to help athletes and just anyone else who is struggling. I continue to share daily hope and inspiration, being the advice I wish I could give my younger self. Something beautiful came out of that dark time. Eating disorders are WAY too common in sport and I don’t want anyone to live the way I did. Life is SO much better when you are fueling your body properly.

I now realize that getting let go from the D1 team at Pitt was the catalyst for me to turn my life and health around. It was God giving me a wakeup call. He was working all things out for my good all along. Stepping away from the team at Pitt at the end of my freshman year gave me the space to recover mentally and physically from an eating disorder. If I had never left the D1 team at Pitt, I don’t know if I would have ever recovered. During my sophomore year of college, I was able to branch out and have more balance in my life. I became more involved in my church and dove into my passions in nursing. I dove deeper into my relationship with the Lord, and realized that JESUS is the only true source of joy and fulfillment. With my hip and my relationship with food healed, I slowly returned to running and training. I found my love for the sport again, this time with a healthy, strong mind and body. I had gained weight, but I found that I was still able to run fast, and then even faster than I ever had before! Being injured and unable to train in my sport for almost a year completely changed my perspective. I have so much gratitude now and I realize what a GIFT it is that God allows me to run and experience the joy of the sport. God taught me SO much through my struggles, and it has formed me into the person I am today. Sports and success are fun, but they can be taken away from you in an instant. The steadfast love, mercy, joy, and forgiveness that only comes from Jesus Christ is FOREVER. Making heaven crowded is what matters, and it’s always important to focus on the big picture. I am able to find joy despite the hardships because of the goodness of God. And that has been a life changing experience.

I won’t have the picture perfect college running career I had imagined. I won’t get the chance to run at the NCAA championships. But I am still able to train hard every day and race at a high level, and for that I am so grateful. The beautiful thing about running is that you don’t need to be on an NCAA team to train and race! I currently run in NIRCA club running meets and enter unattached at NCAA DI, DII, and DIII meets. I’m still setting PRs, chasing big goals, and looking forward to the future! I want to try a triathlon, run the Boston Marathon, and maybe even chase an Olympic Trials qualifying standard in the future!

My worth never came from being a Division I athlete. My worth comes from GOD, who created me for a specific purpose in this world and loves me unconditionally. Sports are an awesome

part of life, but remember that God created you for MORE than just athletics. God doesn’t care what you look like, how much you weigh, or your athletic achievements. He cares about how you treat those around you and how you spread the Kingdom of God in this world.

God took what the enemy meant for evil and used it for GOOD. An eating disorder took so much from me, but my struggle has enabled me to share the healing power of Jesus Christ. It has given me a lifelong passion for promoting proper fueling and appreciating your body to athletes. It has inspired me to use my social media page to help thousands of others avoid my same mistakes. I get messages every day from people telling me that I’ve literally changed their life and inspired them to recover from their eating disorder, helped them through an injury, or have inspired them to become a Christian. My story is vastly different from what I imagined, but it is BEAUTIFUL and God is still working in incredible ways. He is allowing me to share my faith on a much deeper level and with a larger audience than I ever could have done on my own.

No matter what team I’m running for or what times I run, I’ve already won. Because Jesus has already defeated sin and death, and loves you and me SO much. And that will never change. Jesus delivered me from my eating disorder, I am healthy and able to do the sport I love again, and I am striving to glorify God with my life. And that’s all that matters.

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